Stop wasting time on bad dates. Get the tools to create an awesome dating experience. Attract singles that match your desires. As we grow in Christ, the Holy Spirit puts uneasiness and conviction in our hearts when we are not walking in alignment with Jesus. If your dating life is causing you to struggle, commit your life to Jesus. Obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit, make Jesus your priority, and follow Him.
Shay became a certified community producer with BRIC in July 2015. She has produced Spiritual Sense w/Shay and The Truth and A Church Girl which airs weekly on the Brooklyn Free Speech Channel. The Truth & A Church Girl was nominated for the Spirit & Being: Outstanding Program Feature/Segment and the WOW! Factor Outstanding On-Air Talent. In April of 2016, Shay L. Askew won Brooklyn Free Speech’s first-ever 2016 People’s Choice Award for The Truth & A Church Girl.
I actually believe his feelings for you are sincere. His arranging to have you with him, his breaking into a rant to your friend, it feels to me like his intentions are really good. I don’t think he’s an asshole. And I am not judging. I am just saying no matter how well intended he is, you are a part of a period in time that he is trying to move past.
And here is another possibility he just isn’t into you. Instead of manning up and telling you that, he is flirting with other dudes. This point sucks and not something you want to hear but checking out other guys on a first date really is not a good sign for something long term.
While talking it through, it may be helpful to consider your own story from a third-person perspective. In other words, put yourself in your friend’s (or someone else’s) shoes and describe it from their viewpoint. Research shows that this kind of distancing helps you reflect and gain insight from what you’ve experienced without falling into feeling sorry for yourself.
Here are two examples. You have more constraint commitment to stay on current path (in any area of life, not just relationships) when you have fewer alternatives to it. One type of alternative relates to your perception of how available other desirable partners would be if your present relationship ended. Another type of constraint is financial. For example, if you’ve invested more—bought more together, combined accounts, etc.—you have more to lose if you break it off. There are many other types of constraints. Some are easily seen as evidence of past dedication and some are built into a person’s life even before meeting the present partner.