Assuming we are not talking about other women or partners, I have to begin by referring back to an idea I referenced in a past article, When Your Girl Wants to Get Married and You Don’t. The book is aimed at women and is written from the perspective of a woman who wants a relationship with a man (or wants to improve a relationship with a man she is already with). There is a focus on masculine and feminine roles within a relationship, no not who does the washing up, 🙂 but who is the feminine receiving/feeling partner, and who is the masculine, action oriented, giving partner. It also explains why things can get messed up when we women take over the masculine role and emasculate our men, and so you effectively end up with two men in the relationship. This can really upset the balance.
so me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 months and it has been great. We was still together while I was away for school and recently I came back home for the summer. one night I was at her house having dinner and drinking we both got drunk and we had got into a fight. She threw a shoe at me and I grab the shoe but I didn’t do nothing with it at all. Next thing you know she said that we need a break because of school, work, and her son. Keep in mind that we were together while she was in school, working, and having her son as well. We talked recently and I asked her do she still love me and said yes, I asked her is there one else in the picture or seeing anyone else she said no not at all. I asked her is I’m still her baby and she said yes. Last question I asked her how long would we be on this break and she told be give her a month. What does this mean, Dan? Is she really going to leave me or not? Does she really love me like she say she does? Please help me sir.
Until you decide what you really want, refusing to settle for less, you will not know how to teach a guy how to treat you. Again, this isn’t about controlling a man, changing a man or having a man be your personal lap dog. This is about letting a man know right away which behavior is and isn’t acceptable to you—boundaries. When you realize that the right guy will want to do everything in his power to build a strong foundation for you, then you won’t be afraid to speak up.
I’m tired of being told what a real man should be – especially from someone who clearly doesn’t understand a man’s perspective. I’m successful, and had a great father figure growing up. I feel like the advice here only tells women to double down and dig there heels in even deeper, and will only lead to more frustration. They really can’t see outside themselves. Not only did this sexist piece box men unrealistically it is creating unhealthy delusions. Does the author ever consider looking in the mirror? If the incentives existed the successful men would be behaving in a way that led to long term monogamy, but they don’t. Things are the way they are – just because you state your assumptions as fact doesn’t make them true.
During that time period, our relationship escalated. We kissed—I asked my bishop about it, and remained within his guidelines of what was safe, but I admit that kissing made me very uncomfortable, to the point that I would have panic attacks. He helped me deal with it and respected me when I asked that we not do it again. When Christmas break started, he talked to me often of how he missed me. He began to harm again during break, to an extent that he hid from me. I didn’t find out until we got back to school, and even then he didn’t want me to know. I became very worried. I had been from the beginning, I guess, but it began to culminate. As such, I broke it off.
I stumbled upon this blog and found it quite interesting. This issue is not discussed much in our Orthodox church in Canada but it is on the minds of many of our single people. It is a situation that I have prayed a lot about, especially most recently.