Now that I am engaged, I still feel like I have a lot to say to you gals that are just dating. Because I have been in some really unhealthy, not pleasing to God relationships, and then I’ve done it the right way (or at least made a real effort!) and I would’ve loved to have more resources about dating in a Godly way while I was a dating gal. I do understand the rationale behind the above statements and I get the concepts they are trying to convey. I just know that relationships aren’t like business transactions. I think it’s healthy to admit when you are hurt, insecure (etc.) instead of acting” like none of it phased you. Once you deal with the reality of the situation, you can deal with it. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.
In my times of open honesty with myself, I have to admit that I was aware of fundamental problems between myself and my partner very early on, but, through fear, I rationalised them as being things that would work themselves out, or that relationships were about acceptance and sacrifice and that I was being cowardly and selfish for not committing. What this really says is that I was used to not having my opinions or feelings respected and so when they told me that this person would imprison me in fear, guilt and obligation, and obstruct me from developing who I was and what I wanted to achieve, I colluded with my partner to continue ignoring and disrespecting my own feelings. When my values conflicted with my partner’s, I would suppress them under the guise of compromise. Sadly, I had never experienced a relationship without emotional blackmail, and so accepted all the common myths regarding what one just had to put up with in relationships.
The kid in class who does the extra hard question just for fun turns out to be a mathematical genius, with a really great job, and the person who wakes up at 4am every morning to go for a 16 mile jog, regardless of the weather, has a healthy heart, fantastic lung capacity, and a calm mind. Every relationship is unique, and should be treated so. You know in your heart what is right and what is wrong for you. Nothing worth having comes easy.
If you suspect that someone in your life is a sociopath, then you should avoid confronting or accusing them. If you tell the person that you think they are a sociopath, they are likely to laugh in your face and scorn your attempt at comprehending them. That is why confronting this type of person is a waste of time.
Once you figure out what makes that special someone tick, try to become that person. If need be, dye your hair black (for shock value and just as long as it looks good on you) or sign up for those boat rafting activities (only as long as you know how to swim). Congratulations! You have just completed stage one of your plan.
He is often attractive, savvy, and slick with the girls, but if you are wise you will be careful and not fall for his charms. He often brags about his magnetic personality and, indeed, women are drawn to him naturally. He generally takes care of himself by going to the gym and wearing hip clothing. He is the life of the party and is aware of his effect on women.