I was young and didn’t know what I was doing, but because we had both been drinking, we somehow started kissing and that then lead to us getting into a relationship. If marriage only offered us these things, though, it really wouldn’t be worth it. Many will try to deny that, but the divorce statistics are enough to establish that marriage asks more of you than most could have ever imagined on their wedding day. Most of my married friends would say that what seems fun and pretty and unbreakable at the altar did not feel as clean or easy even days into their lives together. It’s still intensely good and beautiful, but it’s costly — too costly for small aims.
Once I had assumed responsibility for throwing myself under that particular bus, my angst began to lessen. I reminded myself regularly that what I participated in was always my choice, and that each new moment of each new day presented a fresh opportunity to make better choices.
Dating is a matter of doing your best to discern a person’s ability to fulfill God’s vision and purpose for marriage with you. While you might be the one with the final say, you might not be the best person to assess at every point. Just as in every other area of your Christian life, you need the body of Christ as you think about whom to date, how to date, and when to wed.
I guess after all of that, I just wish to ask: when is it ok to give up? Within marriage, I assume one ought to be supportive forever (that’s kind of a big part of marriage), but in dating, and friendship, is it selfish and wrong to want to back out? I don’t really know. I want to help, and I ought to help, but I also want to be happy too.
So if you value money above all else, then you will invest your time/effort into making money and attract partners who highly value money as well. If you value honesty and authenticity, then you will invest in your own honesty and authenticity and therefore attract partners who value the same.
The most important thing you can do in a relationship is pray-not only with each other, but for each other and your relationship. Whether you want to say a specific pray every night before bed, pray before every meal, or just challenge your partner to spontaneously pray, you should do so everyday! It is prayer that will enable you to get through those times when you just want to see your partner, or on those nights when you fight. Pray ceaselessly and your relationship will thrive.