Simone has been dating Jake for several months. Every time they get together it’s wonderful – he’s sensitive and open, the sex is great. But then he’s gone – no contact for a couple of weeks, then he’s back, two dates nights in the same week, then back a week later, then nothing for 3 weeks. Simone feels like she is on a rollercoaster. She obsesses about him when he’s gone, but is afraid that if she pushes for any regularity or, God forbid, commitment he’ll bolt. Unless you are talking to open-minded or been there, done that folks, keep your trap shut. You start telling people about how real you lover is and they will slap you in a loony bin. Worse still, if they do believe you some might try to save you from this ‘demon’ possessing you. Yep, some people feel that sex is evil, therefore your lover must be evil. Yeah, that’s a load of crap, but it is out there.
Though this is not true for every relationship every time, there is a definite difference between dating and a relationship when it comes to clarity. While dating, one person may feel one way (exclusive v. open dating) and the other person may feel differently.
You don’t want to be a cheerleader for the new guy. On the other hand, it only bodes well for you if you can be supportive of her new relationship. Say something like: Hey, that’s cool you are seeing someone. Leave it at that. Just let her know that you are not going to do the whole creepy ex boyfriend thing.
While dating someone, expectations stay low. It is normal for one person to be more into the situation than the other person, but overall, no one is expecting a diamond ring or a mortgage. While in a relationship however, expectations tend to run high.
I’ve come to discover that online dating is a scam. If you’ve ever browsed the Craigslist personals, it isn’t about dating; 99.99% of the posts are the most disgusting, despicable, but aggressively honest requests to hookup for quick sex. I’ve discovered that online dating is no different than Craigslist, but is the feminine version; that is, people go there to play games and develop experiences & seduction skills. It is the passive form of Craigslist.
For everyone who is single, I would encourage you to not be so desperate to find a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband. My encouragement to you is to daily grow in Christ and allow Him to build you into being all the person God wants you to be. When Jesus is our focus, we find satisfaction in knowing that He is enough and that whatever comes after that is a blessing, not the focus.